Bookish Musings & Discussion Time // My (Blogging) Struggles, and Disappointments

Happy Saturday, everyone! 🍂

It’s been a while since my last discussion post, and I’ve really come to love them, because they always result in so many amazing conversations with you all.

I have to confess that I’m extremely nervous about this one, though, because I share a lot of my fears and worries with you, so … please be kind.

💭

Something I pride myself on is always being completely honest with you, and always speaking out on things I believe in—and while that has certainly been true, and will always be true, there are also things that I haven’t talked about all that much, or even mentioned.

Mostly, because I’m a very private person, and it takes a lot of time until I really open up. But also, simply because I primarily—with exceptions, of course—talk about bookish things on all my social media platforms.

Private GIF - Sprinkles of DreamsI 100% lack Michelle Trachtenberg’s sass, though, I mostly just … hide in the confines of my introvert-bubble.

I think those of you who chat with me outside of blogging, can oftentimes read between the lines, and also know that in-between my little (blogging) successes and achievements that I share with you, and my never-ending love and enthusiasm when it comes to blogging, my (blogging) life isn’t solely made up of rainbow and butterflies.

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The beginning of October was pretty exciting for me; I talked about ARCs and blog tours I was approved and picked for, as well as other events in my life that made me really happy. I received so many wonderful emails and news, and I couldn’t be more thankful about them, as well as feel incredibly lucky.

But to be completely honest with you, they are the rays of sunlight that just barely permeated a darker, murkier, and cloudier sky right beneath, leaving glimpses into what could be, if only (I didn’t still struggle with my mental health so much [and didn’t live internationally?]).

Because while I work very hard on my blog—yes, I invest a lot of my heart, and a considerable amount of my time, and sometimes, I’ve even neglected my mental health (120% do not recommend!!), to make my blog into what it is today—and as amazing as it might seem that I and my blog are doing (I’ve received a lot of messages about my “blogging success”, ever since my blog post on ARCs) … it’s definitely not the whole picture.

And to be honest, I don’t really feel all that successful.

💭

While things looked absolutely “amazing” from the outside, I’ve never told you about all the times things didn’t work out for me. Which, in hindsight, I probably should have, because I want to let you know that blogging isn’t a linear experience, especially when it comes to things like ARCs, and other opportunities you get through blogging.

I’ve been rejected for so many eARCs from both NetGalley and Edelweiss, sometimes even right away, or didn’t even hear back from them at all—but that’s not what I mainly want to talk about. Because sometimes, the reason behind that could simply be that my blog is barely half a year old (which is actually the sole reason I was rejected for one particular book, as stated by a publisher in an email).

What I want to talk about is that “blogging success” is relative.

💭

Because no matter what I’ve “achieved” so far in the eyes of one person, it could be barely anything in the eyes of another person (me); there’s always that nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should, and could be doing more.

Since my classes started this semester, I haven’t had the time to visit so many blogs that I love, or leave comments; I haven’t written as many blog posts as I wanted to write (about topics I’m very passionate about), and—ever since I started requesting books from publishers directly—I’ve been stressing out about my stats a lot.

Thinking, “am I doing enough?”, “why did this post only get x comments, when I used to get x²?”, “do publishers think 4000 views in a month is a lot, or nothing at all??”, “my blog isn’t growing as fast anymore, does that mean I’m not writing as amazing blog posts anymore?”, “should I make a bigger effort to grow my blog/Twitter*/Instagram?”.

Stressed GIF Seinfeld - Sprinkles of Dreams

*I only just joined Twitter about a month ago, and I’ve noticed that oftentimes publishers want you to have a certain amount of followers there to even consider you, and … it makes me so sad that I’m excluded from some opportunities from the get-go—which is in no way any kind of criticism, because obviously, publishers want their books to go to people who have a wide reach! I totally understand. Still, it stings.

Just … in general, feeling “less than”. And I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but if some of you sometimes feel this way, I do want to say this:

You might get “rejected” a lot of times [by publishers, blog tour organizers, &c.], and then one day, the stars line up, and you get exactly what you wish for. Or … maybe you don’t. But if you truly love blogging, please keep at it. Because it’s such a wonderful and rewarding experience, no matter how many other opportunities present themselves to you as a result.

💭

I guess I just have to remind myself of that; of how I started blogging without even knowing about physical ARCs, or anything like that, but simply because I wanted to connect with others, and share my love of books.

Because I’m so happy I did, seeing as without blogging, I wouldn’t have made all these amazing friends, I wouldn’t have had so many great conversations, been able to talk about issues I’m not bold enough (yet?) to talk about in real life. And I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to voice my thoughts at all, not like this.

Not about depression, and how it has shaped my life in ways I still can’t quite articulate.

Moreover, I just want to thank each and every one of you who’s following me, who’s reading my posts, and interacting with me, and who is sending me the sweetest and most encouraging messages when I’m feeling down, because it really means so much to me.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Sprinkles of Dreams - Let's Chat

What are your experiences with (book) blogging?

What are some things that keep you passionate about blogging, always?

Do you struggle with feeling like you should be doing more?

I’d love to hear about your blogging journey! 💗

xx, lily - Sprinkles of Dreams
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122 thoughts on “Bookish Musings & Discussion Time // My (Blogging) Struggles, and Disappointments”

  1. This is so relatable and true!!
    But really Lily, you are doing an amazing job and screw all the stats (although we started together and you’re much more successful and I am happy for you and happy about my blog too).
    And here is a confession: your posts are always the most anticipated for me! I sometimes not in the mood to blog hop and read posts or I just have too much to study. But your posts are always an exclusion and I red them right away no more what (As evidenced by me writing this comment at midnight and I have to wake up after 5 hours to go 2 hours by bus for the hospital).
    Short story: you rock! and just keep blessing us with wonderful posts no matter what stats say!
    And I am out 😛

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hamad!! This honestly means the world to me, I appreciate you so much. 😭💙 I’m so, so happy that my posts are that special to you, and I hope you’re not suffering the consequences of staying up late to read and comment on this one ahh. 🙈

      I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you said you’re happy with your blog, because in the end, no stats or anything else can accomplish that, if you don’t feel about it this way yourself.

      Sending you lots of energy for today & I hope the rest of your weekend is absolutely fantastic! Thank you a million times for this wonderful comment, I’m so incredibly lucky to know you. 💙💙

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww, I am glad it does! I think there were not many consequences and I made it through another day!

        I wasn’t happy at first before picking up this theme and having a style in mind but after that, I am pretty proud of what I have now 😀

        Thanks ❤
        You're welcome and I can say the same 💙💙

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally understand what you’re saying, Lily! I’ve definitely noticed a change since school started, which I expected and all, but it’s still hard. I put in so much time scheduling posts that I was happy with and interested in, and they still didn’t do as great as I wanted them to. Like, they’ve all done fine and I can’t really complain, but I also know they would’ve done better if I had more time to interact with other people, which I haven’t been able to as much. And I feel like I’m missing out on so many good posts, which is so sad. But it’s also important to remember that your mental health and school and real life are just as important as your blog ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ahh Ally, I’m so glad you understand (though, of course, I hate the fact that you relate 😞). ❤

      And you put it into words perfectly—it's the fact that I really can't complain, but still know that I could “do better”, if I put in more effort, but where do we draw the line? Because there are only so many hours in one day, and it shouldn’t all be about blogging, even if we love it, right?

      (Also, your blog is also one that I’ve been missing so much, and I feel so bad for neglecting to read. 😭)

      Thank you so much for your sweet message, I hope everything’s going well for you! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lily this post is SO relatable! Like you, I am so grateful for the opportunities I get from blogging, but I’ve also experienced some of the negative feelings that you have. It hurts a little when I put so much effort into my posts but it doesn’t get many views, or publishers reject my requests. I’ve been blogging for a while, but I still feel like my blog is relatively small when compared to other blogs. Sometimes blogging feels a little pointless, or like it drains up so much of my time without many rewards. Ultimately, I really love blogging, but I have absolutely had those moments where I’m like, “Why am I doing this again?” But then there are also those moments when someone tells me that they started bullet journaling because of me, or they picked up a book and loved it because I recommended it. That’s when I think, “Oh yeah, this is part of what makes blogging worthwhile.” Also I just love writing about books! But sometimes it’s hard to remember that that’s why I’m doing this. Anyway, sorry for basically just writing a very long, very disorganized essay, but I wanted to let you know that I 100% know what you’re talking about in this post, and I really appreciate you publishing it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Annie, you’re absolutely wonderful, and I cherish your friendship so much! 💛 Your messages always mean a lot to me, and I hope you know that! 🌻

      And ahh please don’t apologize for this comment!! I’m always here if you need to vent, or express your thoughts. Honestly, I’m so thankful you did, because reading this made me realize that I’m not alone with my struggles, and shouldn’t feel bad for sometimes feeling like blogging “doesn’t pay off”, as bad as that sounds.

      Your blog is so lovely, and you made me fall in love with bullet journalling again (even though I’m too busy to do it myself atm), and I always love seeing your posts here and on Instagram, even if I don’t always comment.

      Sending you hugs & love! 💛💛💫

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks so much for your honesty, I am sure this will resonate with many people. Lately my views and comments and general stats have also either stagnated or gone down, but honestly I cannot bring myself to care too much… it’s just a hobby after all. I am sorry to hear that it bothers you so, and I want to make it clear that your feelings are valid and that there certainly is some pressure from the publishers to have your numbers up, which is quite sad.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw, it’s really something I needed to get off my chest, and I’m glad if I could help even one person feel less alone. I’m glad you’re not worrying too much about it, and thank you so much for your kind words! 💗

      I know it’s something I have to work on myself, since I didn’t use to even look much at my stats, let alone worry about them, but knowing that publishers will be judging me by them (which, of course, because it doesn’t make sense for them to “invest” in someone who doesn’t have a wide reach) is making me pressure myself, which is … not good. 😌

      Like

  5. Oops, accidentally pressed send too early.

    I wanted to add that, in the end, you need to make sure that blogging makes you happy. It’s not a job, for most of us, and I understand the need to make it perfect at the cost of hours of sleep, anxiety and delaying chores and other things. But remember that it’s okay if you miss posting for a while. It’s okay if you put less effort into it. Having a few posts coming up every once in a while that you actually want to post is much better than having regular posts that you feel obligated to post for sake of consistency.

    You’re doing fine ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you SO much for your sweet message, Naty! It really means the world to me—I know I’m going to be reminding myself of this a lot, and hearing it from someone else really helped. Thank you ❤❤

      I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day!! xx

      Like

  6. You deserve a lot of admiration for this post, Lily. It does get tough sometimes to fulfil your own expectations as a blogger, but what I will say is that you are an amazing blogger and always will be. All your posts are insightful and eloquent.
    Hope you are not feeling too down.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. First off, I love you. Secondly, It’s hard. I feel like in all walks of social media, people only want to talk about their success and happiness. But not all days are great… not all months are great, either… but you and your content mean so much to me. I am so privileged to live in the US, and I do receive many ARCs that I will forever be thankful for, but I feel *not good enough* so much, too. And then I start feeling even worse for even starting to feel bad when I have so much more than so many. Like, at the end of September, so many people I knew got sent The Lost Sisters ARC and a box of Cruel Prince goodies and The Wicked King ARC from the Novl, and it just made me feel so worthless and not good enough, after I made such a big deal posting my review on my birthday, and always shouting that series out constantly. Ahhh… what am I even saying? Just, you’re not alone. I promise you, you’re not alone. I bet…. PolandBanana feels like this at times, too. And… I’m here if you need anything, ever. And the book community is so lucky to have you and your voice. And I’m so lucky to call you my friend. 💕xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “I feel *not good enough* so much, too. And then I start feeling even worse for even starting to feel bad when I have so much more than so many.” — this!! I try to appreciate everything I have, but sometimes, it’s hard, especially when I see everything I’m missing out on?

      I’m so sorry you feel like that as well at times, and that you missed out on these opportunities (I saw people screaming about that ARC, and you deserve it so much!! 😭) but I can 100% guarantee that you’re such a bright light and important voice in the book community, and I know how much you’re loved and treasured, because that’s how I feel about you. 💫

      I’m the lucky one, Mel! I so appreciate having you in my life, and your sweet messages and kindness always make my day. Sending you all the love 💕💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Awh, Lily… I didn’t ask for these tears! I truly love you and your blog and your voice so much. I promise to boost you forever and ever. And I’m here if you need anything. And just remember that you’re never alone! 💛xx

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow yes I’m constantly bombarded with a feeling of not being as good a blogger as I want to be and that I need to do more + I know I’ve sacrificed precious time to blog when I should have been doing something else.

    What keeps me bloggin is all the people I’ve gotten to know and the understanding that it all takes time.

    Your blog is beautiful and I know how hard this all can be but you’ve got this girl. You’ll get there. Keep going 💛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahh thank you for this wonderful message, Lisa! I really appreciate it a whole lot. 💗

      I’m sorry you have these feelings as well, but I’m also so incredibly glad that you know what keeps you going, and blogging friends definitely play such an important part in reminding me of all that I’m thankful for.

      Thank you for your sweet words, and same right back to you. 💗💗

      Like

  9. It’s so important to come to terms with how success looks for oneself and also to keep in mind why you’re REALLY doing it in the first place. Sometimes you find yourself wondering ‘what’s the point?’. It’s been happening to me a few times this year, but then I remember my goal was always just to have a pretty space where I could express myself and have conversations with others and meet bookish people.

    It’s so easy to get caught up in all these checkboxes book bloggers need to check!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahh that’s so important, and I’m definitely going to take that to heart. I’m glad you’ve found a way to stay enthusiastic and passionate about blogging, Pamela!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to leave such a heartening comment! 💗

      Like

  10. Love this post, Lily! Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your struggles with us. 💓 I can completely to you feeling like you’re never good enough. Even when I’ve accomplished something, I feel like I can always do more and do better. I can never be completely satisfied with myself. :’) But anyway, remember that you’re always enough (even if you don’t feel like you are), and you’re an absolutely amazing and inspiring human being. ☺️💞

    I’m really happy I started a book blog as well, because of all the incredible people (like you) that I’ve met here. The book blogging community is truly the best 💖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so, so much, Dezzy! I’m so touched that I’m an inspiration to you, and I can’t stress enough that YOU are always enough, too. 💖

      Same, I’m so happy to be part of such a wonderful community. Thank you for your sweet comment, I hope you have the best day!! x

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I love blogging, my blog is much more successful than I ever would have imagined, and I have made some really amazing friends because of it, but I completely 100% relate to this post. You are definitely not alone in your ARC denials, feeling like you should be doing more, or stressing about stats.

    I just want to say that both you and your blog are amazing, and this is such a great post. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much, Sara, that’s so heartening to hear! I’m so incredibly relieved that it’s not just me who feels this way … and that I don’t have to be afraid of seeming hypocritical saying this, when “bigger” bloggers struggle with this as well. 😌

      Thank you, that means so much to me! I admire you so much as a blogger, and your sweet comment made me smile. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Lily, this was such a beautifully crafted and thoughtful post and, honestly, incredibly needed for everyone in the blogging community to hear. ❤ It's so natural for us to get bogged down on the stats and hide the negative stumbles we face while blogging, so I'm really grateful for you being vulnerable and sharing your current thoughts and struggles. Please please please know how much we (me!) love your posts no matter what and it won't matter how often you can post because the quality is always superb (even if your inner self doesn't think so)! I also know we're just blogging buddies, but I'm here to support you through any struggles you might be facing. ❤

    I definitely also struggle with feeling like I need to do more. I can totally relate to the whole thing with school 😦 I want to devote so much more time to writing my own posts, reading others' posts, and just simply spend time interacting with wonderful blogging friends…but there's also exams and homework and a bunch of other looming deadlines. By the time I'm done with all the academic and academic-related extracurricular commitments, it's tough to find the energy and creativity to blog even though we may want to blog more than anything!

    This was such a great post, and it honestly inspires me to be more open with my own experience and struggles 🙂 Thank you for sharing not only your successes but also your struggles, but don't forget! You're an amazing blogger and such an inspiration. 😉 MUCH LOVE ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahhh I’m so incredibly touched right now, Tiff, this is the sweetest message ever, and I love you for saying this. 😭❤ I adore your blog so much, and it honestly makes me so sad, whenever I miss out on reading one of your posts, and it’s such a relief to know that I’m not alone in feeling all this.

      I struggle with that so much! Even though I love blogging, it still takes a lot of energy, and thought, and at the end of the day, it’s much easier to just watch a TV show, or something else, after being in class and/or studying all day.

      I’m so, so happy that my post inspired you to be more open as well! And ahh what, I’m going to cry, it’s such an incredible honor to hear that I’m an inspiration for you. 😭❤❤ Thank you SO much for this wonderful message, it really means the world to me!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww Lily!! You’re also too sweet ❤ Please know you're not alone! I definitely agree about watching a TV show. Sometimes I just want to put my mind in autopilot mode and watching a show (Book twitter has me obsessed with B99 now!) requires so much less brain power than writing 😂 I'm really considering a post like this sometime when I'm ready to release all the stress 🙈

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Ahhh I love B99 so much, if you ever need someone to fangirl about it with, please DM me, haha. I can’t wait for the next season to air, I’m already so impatient. ❤

          Oh, yes, please!! I'd love to read that post, and if I happen to miss it, send it my way. ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Lily, this is such a lovely and heartfelt post, thank you for writing it and for being so honest. ❤ I know that sometimes words just can't manage to make their way through the doubt you might feel, but Lily, you're one of the most successful young book blog out there, really, you're doing incredibly well and you're such a rising star and I am so happy you're getting opportunities and certain that you'll get more of them. It's hard sometimes to look away from the stats and wonder whether or not you're doing okay or just doing ridiculously bad and wonder (though if you're asking really, about the 4K views per month, well…. girl you're doing INCREDIBLE). Please remember that you're doing amazing and focus on why you love it, that's what matters. You're doing awesome. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marie, you’re genuinely one of the bloggers I look up to, and who inspire me, the most, and your kind and supportive message means the whole world to me! 😭❤️

      I know that no one really likes to talk much about stats, so when it comes to monthly views/visitors &c. I really am quite clueless still, but that’s very heartening to hear! Even though I’m trying not to pay too much attention to them, except for when I have to, because publishers want to know my numbers.

      Thank you so much, from the very bottom of my heart. You’re such a ray of sunshine in my blogging life (and others’ as well, I’m sure)! ❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  14. *hugs*
    It’s a bad mix when our blogging stress mix with something else. I can relate a bit, since few days ago I’ve started to realized how my blog was not having enough high stat!

    But you’re a young blogger and 4000 views is an amazing step, one of the many you will do. Blogs pass by ups and downs. And you’re not alone in the rejecting. Even more affirmed blogger can get a rejection.
    And as much as we all want to take care better about everything, we can’t. Or we’re gonna explode.

    I think you’re doing amazing, and every post I’ve read of yours, is full of quality. Sometimes is even good to take a slow down, and decide on what focus your work, or how to work. It’s okay even to take a little break for set up what is stressing you out, how you can resolve it and just do what you feel it’s best to your blog, without compromising your relax and health ❤

    Keep up with your own terms and maybe blog for the sake of blogging, because you're doing really good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have to confess that I never used to even look at my stats, but it’s been a necessity ever since I started requesting ARCs, and … I sometimes wish I could go back to those days. 🙈 But I also appreciate all the opportunities that publishers give us, so I know it’s a necessary … evil, in a way.

      Thank you so much for your encouraging message, Camilla, it means so much to me! Especially hearing this from someone who’s been blogging for much longer than I have. I’m sorry that you feel as though your blog isn’t doing well enough stats-wise, but I can assure you that your blog and content are wonderful, and enrich our community so much! 😌

      Thank you again for your sweet message, I appreciate it so much! 💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I can really relate to this! Thank you for your honesty because I’ve felt like this a lot, especially recently because I’m still relatively new to blogging but my hectic college schedule has meant I can’t post as often as I would like, so to read a post like this from another blogger, who highlights the struggles in blogging, really hits a chord with me and I’m so glad that this isn’t just something limited to me. A lot of the established bloggers make blogging look so easy but the reality is there’s just not enough time in the day to do everything (although the bloggers that do inspire me so much and I honestly have no idea how they even have the time to sleep with everything they’re doing). Blogging is tough. Making sure we’re on top of all our social media, engaging with the community, writing posts, and reading books, all before looking for blogging opportunities and applying for ARCs. Then there are our personal lives on top of all of that. You’re not alone and you’re doing an amazing job. Your blog is stunning. You should be so incredibly proud of what you’ve achieved. And you’re absolutely right – if you truly love blogging, keep at it. I’m definitely taking that piece of advice away with me! All the hard work is going to pay off.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so, so much for your sweet message, Kelly! 💜

      I feel everything you’ve said on such a deep level – but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from publishing this post, it’s that even “established” bloggers struggle with the same things, and I think we all sometimes get overwhelmed, or are disappointed that we’re not doing as well as we strive to – which is just a sign, that we’re constantly trying to grow and evolve, and that’s a good thing.

      I still feel very new to blogging as well, and my almost-half-year-anniversary seems like a dream? I hope that you come to love blogging as much as I do, though, and my inbox is always open, if you have any questions at all. 😌 & a happy belated welcome to the blogging community! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  16. This is such a positive and encouraging post! I feel inspired after reading it. It’s only been 2 months since I started blogging but since my school and internship started, I’ve already has bouts of feeling demotivated about the blog. But coming across people like you and posts such as this always rejuvinate me. So thank you for that! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh first of all, welcome to the blogging community, Raya! I’m sorry that real life stress has demotivated you a bit, but also very happy to hear that you felt encouraged by this post – that’s really what I strive to do, with everything I write. 💙

      Thank you for your lovely message – and if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me! 😌

      Liked by 1 person

  17. This is so relatable. I’ve been blogging on & off for 3 years and I still get discouraged on the daily because my stats aren’t where they SHOULD be after blogging this long. It always makes me think to myself “Why am I even doing this?” But I have to keep telling myself that I do this because it’s fun and a hobby and if I get “successful,” then great. But if not, that’s okay too. I think you have a fantastic blog and I really appreciate your honesty! I think everyone focuses on the good instead of the bad, which can make other people discouraged as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh thank you, Britt! 💛💛

      That’s exactly why I wanted to share some of my struggles – because I’ve received a lot of messages from bloggers, wanting to know how I’m doing ” so well”, and thinking that they’re alone in facing rejections &c.. And you’re totally right, we blog first and foremost because we love it, and “success” (which is all relative, at the end of the day, anyway) is just a bonus.

      Thank you so much for your lovely message! 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Awh, Lily, I relate so much!💓This is such a lovely post, and I love the message behind it- that you are enough and that your blog is enough. Because that is so true! I feel you completely, I’ve been neglecting blogging since school started, not to mention completely neglecting reading other posts. It’s been really sad for me, but it’s so important to focus on other things, too. Thank you for being the bright light that you are! Sending you all the best vibes, Lily.☀️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh Olivia, I’m so glad that the message I wanted to send with this blog post reached you the way I’d intended it to! I hope you don’t worry too much about having less time to blog, because you’re amazing, and your blog is amazing, and I’ll always be here, cheering you on. Sending you the warmest hugs 💛💛 

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Lots of love to you 💖 this is so relatable even as I have been blogging for almost 3 years. My blog has been kind of plateau-ing for the last year or so and I realize it’s my fault, i’ve been slacking, my mental health has been worsening, etc… but it still stings when i’m always thinking to myself i could’ve done this or that or if only I hadn’t slacked i would maybe be where i want to be by now.

    Thank you for writing this 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh looots of love to you as well, Fadwa! 💖💖

      Please, please put your mental health first, always (+ know that I’m always here for you, okay!), and I’m honestly so impressed and in awe of you, anyways, because you blogged all through med-school, and you’re so active on Twitter and Instagram, and I’m like,,, how does she do it??

      Anyway, bottom line, you’re doing amazing, and are such an inspiration, and thank you for this wonderful message, I really appreciate it a whole lot!! Sending you hugs & all the good vibes. 💖💫

      Like

  20. Thank you for sharing this post Lily! It resonated so strongly with me. It was so hard for me to step back and take a break. And it hurts so much to see my stats at like non existent this month but the same time I needed it. So I stopped requesting ARCs and just focused on reading books I wanted to read and it was a great month for reading.

    You’re not alone in the denials, and I decided interaction from my followers is so much more important than which blog tours I’m not on or why I didn’t get that ARC.

    I love your amazing blog! You are the best cinnamon bun around ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this kind message, Maddie, you’re the sweetest. 😭💗

      I totally relate to what you mean, giving up ARCs for a while would really lessen the pressure, but at the same time … there are books out there I would love to read in advance, and help promote, so much, and it makes the hard(er) work worth it for me. But I value interactions with everyone above everything else, too. 🙏🏻

      Aw, that is so sweet omg, I’m going to cry. You’re one of the first bloggers I met, and I’m so happy that blogging brought me your friendship, Maddie! 💗

      Liked by 1 person

  21. This was such a lovely post to read that I really needed right now. I’ve just had about a month off blogging because life got on top of me and kept feeling GUILTY that I wasn’t writing reviews, interacting, writing posts… now I’m back, I’m hoping that I can give myself a bit more freedom and remind myself that I started blogging for myself and not for ARCs. My first step was saying no to a recent blog tour because I don’t want the pressure! Hope you’re feeling better with it all, because your blog is lovely and very inspirational. Glad to have made a new bookish friend 😁❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, Beth, that makes me so incredibly happy to hear! And I’m honestly so proud of you for taking a step back, and focusing on life, and also being able to say no to blog tour invites (I struggle with that a bit, haha).

      Thank you so much for your sweet message, I’m so glad we met on Twitter. I can’t wait to read your posts! ☺️💞

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I love you

    you’re worth more than the comments or the amount of views you get, remember that. you post quality content which we love and that’s why we all love and follow you, and read your stuff ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I can relate to this on a deep level. It’s been two years that I’ve been blogging, and to be very honest, my numbers SUCK. A lot of people reach them in a year. Some reach them in a half a year. For me, not even creating a big community seems to have changed anything. The stats pain is so real.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YOU and sucky stats?? That’s honestly hard for me to believe, haha. (Though I’ve noticed that the topic of stats is somewhat a taboo in the blogosphere, so I really don’t know how I’m doing stats-wise, to be honest.)

      But I always see your posts doing super well, especially comments-wise, so I try not to “add” to your stress, in that area. 🙈😅

      Like

  24. This is such a relatable post! I’ve definitely noticed a decline in my stats since I haven’t been able to post much lately because of school! (October has been a bit of an exception because I didn’t work a whole lot). I’m always stressing about whether or not I’m “doing enough” and if I’m doing everything right. Your post has truly lifted my spirits, and for what it’s worth, I think you are a lovely person, Lily, and that you have an amazing blog! I send you all my love! 💗💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kelly, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re stressing about not doing enough as well, but honestly, you’re one of the bloggers I admire so, so much?? I’m always blown away, whenever I see your posts, because they’re always so beautiful, and relevant, and you post relatively often, while still engaging so much with the community? I honestly don’t know how you do it.

      I’m so glad that my post made you feel better, sending you lots of love!! 💗💗

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Blogging is such an important part of my life and I love it a lot, because where else could I talk as much about books as here on WordPress or on Instagram? But similarly to you, I can’t help but compare myself and my blog, my success, to that of others and that can sometimes really get me down.
    But I’ve made so many lovely friends through blogging, discovered so many wonderful books, and found out that I’m not alone in a lot of ways that I felt alone before (e.g. mental health). So yeah, blogging has its downsides, but overall, I feel like there is so much goodness to be found in the book community and I’m very glad to be part of it 😊♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, making such lovely friends (like you!!!), discovering books, and finding people in general who relate in many ways (definitely mental health for me as well), is what always reassures me that I did the right thing when I decided to start blogging.

      I don’t compare my blog all that much to others’, but I do worry a lot about not being “relevant” anymore, and not putting enough time and effort in growing my blog (though I know that that’s hugely because of my anxiety).

      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, Hannah! I’m so happy that we met through our mutual love of books. ♥️♥️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I‘m so happy we met this way, too ♥️💕 I will always be thankful for the way books and blogging have made it possible for me to meet wonderful people like you!

        Liked by 1 person

  26. This is such an amazing and relatable post, Lily. For what it’s worth I think your blog is incredible. I feel like I’ve had a very mixed relationship with blogging. I am so grateful that I started doing it because I have met so many wonderful person and have felt heard and included. However, there’s times where I’ve just felt like my blog doesn’t matter and it’s such a motivation killer. It can be really disheartening when you put a bunch of time and effort into a post and it gets no interaction. I really struggle with comparing myself to more successful bloggers so I always need to remind myself that what I’m doing is okay. I think it can be hard too because at times blogging seems to get so overlooked by the book community. It’s always YouTube and Instagram. I’ve taken several breaks from blogging but I keep coming back so there must be something I love about it 😂 haha, no seriously it really is something I love doing and want to keep doing for as long as possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you so much, Lauren! 💜

      I definitely relate to a lot of what you said, and I agree that bloggers seem to get much less recognition in comparison to bookstagrammers, or YouTubers, but I just love writing so much, and even though I love photography as well, I don’t think I could ever give up blogging completely.

      And I don’t compare myself to other bloggers that much, but rather to myself, and I always worry if my latest blog post is the “best” one I’ll ever write? Which is so silly, haha.

      Thank you for your sweet comment, and I genuinely think that you’re doing amazing. Sending you all the warmest hugs! 💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Oh, Lily! I felt this way too, and a shot there at you, your blog is incredible! I know how you feel about the stats, remember that time we signed up for the Empress Tour? I was in such a bad place then, and whenever I sign up for tours that ask stats. BUT I love how everyone has been so positive around us then, they kept on saying to move on in our own pace with the comforts of our body and our mental health too. What I’m saying is that I want to send them to you too. I may still waver from time to time about struggling, I believe we can get through it. Blogging has its ups and downs but if you ever feel like taking a break to take care of self, go! We will all be here. The support from others as well has been really uplifting. Sending you all my warmest hugs and from my dogs too (don’t worry they’re not stinky haha).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Justine!! Thank you so much, you’re so kind. 💜

      Yes, I do! I was so, so happy when I saw that your name’s on the list for the blog tour as well (if you want to chat about EOAS, please feel free to DM me!!).

      Your message really made me feel so much better, and ahh sending you a million hugs back, and please give your dogs hugs from me as well omg. [I absolutely adore dogs, what kind do you have? (+ please feel free to DM me pictures of them whenever as well, haha.)]

      I hope your day is kind to you, Justine. 💜💫

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Lilyyyy 😭😭 you’re such a star for speaking about these kind of things that we’re all secretly thinking but no one knows how to voice (sis, you are so eloquent im jealous, this isn’t fair) but THANK YOU SO MUCH for voicing the stresses that come with blogging and views (even though they DONT MATTER AND YOURE MORE THAN YOUR STATS AND THE NUMBERS PUBLISHERS SEE) and how hard it is so strike a healthy balance within it all.

    I think it’s absolutely incredible what you’ve done with your blog in such a short amount of time and im so impressed with your posts and your discussions, you truly are one of my favourite bloggers (and im not just saying this bc youre my friend 💙💙) so you keep being amazing ❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  29. A spot on post, Lilly. And trust me, you’re not alone in this. There have been times when I’ve written a post that was purely from my heart and it didn’t even get one like lol.. and then I stressed over it for days, until I realised that I’m not blogging just for the likes or follows am I? I needed to take a reality check with myself because social media and the need to be appreciated and loved just end up becoming the most important thing and we lose sight of why we started out in the first place😊 we are all just human, after all.
    I love blogging because I like writing. I used to write in my diaries and book journals and sometimes I still do. But I also like to blog just to share some of my thoughts and experiences with others. Maybe one person will read it, maybe no one will read it. But when I’m old, this will be my online legacy.. woo hoo! Lol
    Let’s just keep going and writing and reading 😊 big hug!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. this post is so relatable and beautiful and important!!! I needed to read this so much and now I feel roughly 100000x better as a blogger ❤ ❤ I just love the way you write??????? your aesthetic is so intelligent and sweet and graceful c: c: c: c:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so, so happy that my post made you feel better, Malanie!! That’s exactly what I set out to do, and I’m so happy I could acomplish that with you. 🧡🧡

      And ahh hearing this from the aesthetic queen herself?? I didn’t ask for these tears sndhsjsnf. 😭😭

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Such a relatable post, I started my blog early this year and while it is something that I do enjoy doing, because I’m working full time and doing my masters I find it hard sometimes to dedicate time to my blog. Something I definitely want to get better at is making time for it (and to stop procrastinating which is a whole other problem for me!) Keep up your excellent work, you’re doing a great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. You’re not alone in this! I think every blogger faces struggles at one point or another. I know I often look at other blogs that started around the same time that I did and I wonder why they’re so successful and big when I’m not. There’s not really a good solution, either – I just keep reminding myself that I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished with my blog, and even though I don’t have thousands of followers, the ones I have are really great!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I feel like it is normal to talk about the good things and not about the rejections. We mostly all do the same with that. I get rejected ALL the time and I’ve been blogging a while now. I also have sh*t stats but have a very great little blog base that I love connecting with. I try to remember that when I get down about ARcs or stats. Such a relatable post!

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Thank you for sharing the not-rainbow-and-sunshine side of your blogging experience, Lily. 💛 We always see the sunny side of blogging–– the book mails, the ARC, the numbers, but we rarely see the darkest side and really how much time and soul are put into a blog. Keep going! 💛

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Thank you so much for being so open and talking about your struggles 💗 I try not to look at my stats at all, because the moment I do, I know that I’ll get very stressed out and fall down the rabbit hole of comparing myself to others and obsessing over the numbers 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Awh, Lily! It’s always rough when a blogger posts something like this. Especially since I just know we ALL come at this point where we need to point out the negatives and the struggles we’re battling against so people realize our blogging journey isn’t rainbows and butterflies. Oftentimes people just assume we’re lucky and everything always goes the way we want them to while.. that’s so not true.

    So, let’s start with one thing that – I think – might be important for you to hear:
    You’re doing better than I am when it comes to stats. My blog’s almost one year and a half old and, sure, I have more followers on WordPress, but your posts are – as far as I just saw – getting more likes and interaction. So GO YOU! [I really do hope that brightens your day a bit. ;)]

    Apart from that.. It’s true. Blogging is a struggle. Especially since we start out for ourselves and to connect with other readers, share our reading experiences and before we know it.. our blogging goals have turned around completely, suddenly being about the stats, the reach, the things we can “gain” through blogging like ARC’s and whatnot. It’s hard to remind ourselves we aren’t blogging for those things. We’re blogging because we love books and love blogging. Because we wanted a way to put our thought out there. Maybe even to just have that one way to be creative [that’s me!]. There are so many other reasons why people started a blog that have nothing to do with “gaining” things and we have to remind ourselves of those. Sure, it’s hard because the entire world is focused on profit and gaining from what we do, but.. we can only try to not forget that. 🙂

    I do hope you take care of yourself and, even though you’re a closed person [trust me, I usually am as well. Takes ages for me to properly open up], know that I’m only a DM away should you need to talk. ❤

    Like

  37. Thank you this. This really spoke to me as I lay here bleary eyed and sleepy, I’m so glad I read this! Like you, I’m building my blog and always hoping what I’m writing resonates. I’ve recently decided to take on writing a book. All the research I’m doing points to getting published only if you have 5k + followers. I only have 444 😶. But I am so proud of that number regardless! That’s 444 ppl that want to read my stuff and that feels good. So I’m trying to focus on what my book will be about and keep my eye on the goal instead of stressing out out followers. Because as you say blogging is so rewarding! Thank you again!

    Like

  38. Really amazing article and I am glad that someone talk about the reality and not just about the bright side. I think you have to just move forward because the rejections only make you stronger and the end result is more satisfying. I started to write because I kind of struggle to get out my emotions in any other way. Unfortunately not writing about books but more about my life and daily struggles and if course the good moments too. Keep going and enjoy your life 👌🏻

    Like

  39. Lily, those feelings are valid. It was awesome that you could talk about your raw emotions, your fears, anxieties on blogging and on top of that — having depression and still fighting with it. I just wanted to say that I am proud of you whatever you do and wherever you are. Don’t. Don’t feel pressure when blogging. A friend of mine told me that you blog on your own pace and you read on your own pace. I talked about on one of my interviews with Wander with Jon that don’t be discouraged by the statistics. You will get there as you keep on blogging and creating contents. Don’t forget the quality over quantity because those things will be the ones that bloggers would like to visit on your blog. Thank you for sharing this. I will add it on my Looking Back with 2018.

    Liked by 1 person

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